A few weeks ago, I wrote about Travel and the Power of Yes. I still believe yes is the key to opening doors and having amazing experiences while on the road. But sometimes, the best “yes” is made possible by a really smart “no.”
Just think of no as the wingman to yes.
When You’re Just Not OK
A couple months back, when I’d come off a down day when traveling, I wrote that it’s OK not to be OK when traveling. Because some days…you just don’t have it.
I’m in the middle of a five-week trip right now, and my first three nights were a bit of a hot mess. As usual I’d over-scheduled with early flights, early trains, and gave myself only 5–6 hours of sleep each night. Did I want to spend my afternoons wandering around and seeing more? Of course I did. But saying no to more sightseeing and yes to naps completely reset me. It turned exhaustion into enjoyment, and now I’m excited instead of exhausted for the month ahead.
Sorry Santa, I’m Not Funding Your Workshop Upgrade
This week I was in Rovaniemi, Finland, right on the Arctic Circle. It’s also home to the self-proclaimed “Santa’s Village,” where I spotted the giant sign: Meet Santa. Did I go in? Nope. Partly because I was cranky from lack of sleep. Mostly because Santa has become a sell-out and gone corporate. Fifty-five euros for a digital photo? Sorry, big guy, while I’d love a pic with you, you’re not getting my retirement fund.
When Once Is Enough
Sydney Harbour Bridge climb? Absolutely worth a yes…once. Amazing views and a huge adrenaline rush (especially if you’re not a fan of heights.) I’ve been back to Sydney at least a dozen times since, and did I climb it a second time? Nope. Crowds, cost, and the knowledge that the view is just as good from a quiet bench by the water. Sometimes no is knowing when the repeat won’t add value, and you’re better off treasuring the memories.
When Crowds Kill the Magic
Sometimes saying no is about protecting the experience itself. Some places, like Palmyra, carry a mood that can be lost if you try to see them in the middle of a crowd. Saying no to the early morning tourist crush, no to visiting when the tour busses are around, or even no to visiting “right now” can preserve the sense of awe that makes these places worth traveling for in the first place. Sure, Palmyra is empty right now for obvious reasons, but it’s a perfect example of seeking out the kinds of places you can have all to yourself.
When Cramming It In Steals the Joy
FOMO is a tricky travel buddy. I’ve been guilty of it more times than I can count. It whispers, “just one more sight, one more wander, one more item ticked off the must-see list.” But no to cramming it all in can lead to yes moments you’ll actually remember: watching the local wildlife, lingering over coffee, wandering without a schedule or plan.
When You Want to Find Your Own Rhythm
Sometimes saying no is as simple as refusing to follow the script. No to the checklist. No to the itinerary. Yes to wandering, pausing, and stumbling onto moments that make a trip yours alone. Knowing what makes an experience meaningful to you is where it’s at.
At the end of the day, only you know yourself and what makes travel meaningful. Step back, look at the bigger picture, and you’ll know exactly when to say yes with both feet…and when to say no and recharge.
Your turn: Have you ever skipped something everyone said you had to do and felt great about it? Let me know all about it…and how made your travel experience more meaningful.
In my family unit our travel plans always decide in advance "what's the place's Robben Island?" Doing the Robben Island tour with two teens in 2021 was just a people moving shuffle that had lost a lot of the meaning that I'm sure it once had. But of course when in Cape Town you HAVE to do that, and we were glad to have done it but...maaaaaan did it feel contrived as a forced experience.
Anything "required" that falls short of that standard? Nope. Do what we feel like, not what people say we have to do.