Three Small Words That Limit Your Life
How these three words become your biggest roadblocks in travel and in life.
We’ll keep this one simple this week, but hard-hitting.
There are three words that I’ve come to notice over time (both in travel and in life) that tend to quietly hold people back: try, can’t, and wrong. They’re words we all use all the time without thinking, but they shape how we approach things more than we realize, and all too often we let them run our lives.
Let’s start with try, because it’s probably the least controversial.
There’s a reason that line from Yoda has stuck around for decades: “Do or do not. There is no try.” It sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s accurate. “Try” sounds like effort. It sounds like you’re doing something. But in reality, it often builds in an escape hatch before you’ve even begun. I’ll try to go to Europe. I’ll try to make it happen. It leaves room for things not working out, and more importantly, for you to accept that outcome a little too easily.
For example, when I went to North Korea, I had only been to maybe 40 or 50 countries. In my mind, it was the most difficult place in the world to visit. I didn’t think I was every likely to get there. Then the opportunity arose out of the blue, and instead of questioning if I COULD go, I called the tour company, and before I knew it I was on a plane. But, here’s the key: I didn’t tell myself I would try to go. I told myself I would go. And once that decision was made, everything else became a problem to solve. Sure, roadblocks came up along the way, but I found ways of solving them…because I’d told myself I could do this.
That same idea carries over into life. You can try to get the job, try to move to your dream city, try to change direction in your career, but when you decide you will, the mindset shifts. You will still fail at times, but you don’t stop at the first obstacle. You adjust and keep moving.
That brings us to the second word: can’t.
This is usually where things stop before they even start.
In travel, I hear it all the time: I could never go there. I could never afford it. And yes, there are things that genuinely aren’t for everyone. But a lot of “can’t” is just fear that’s been given a more acceptable set of clothes
I’ve had those moments myself. White water rafting is not exactly where I’m most comfortable, and there were stretches of that trip where I was very aware of that fact. But the difference between doing it and not doing it wasn’t ability…it was simply deciding that I could, even if I wasn’t entirely convinced at the start.
In life, “can’t” often becomes a default conclusion before we’ve really tested it. Maybe something takes longer than expected. Maybe it’s harder than we’d like. But if it’s within the realm of reality, it’s usually within the realm of possibility. The people who do unusual things aren’t necessarily more capable…they’re just less willing to accept “can’t” at face value.
And then there’s wrong, which is definitely going to come across as a bit more controversial.
I’m not talking about obvious wrongs. I’m talking about the kind that comes from expectations…the idea that there’s a “correct” way to live your life, and anything outside of it needs to be justified. Stable job, predictable path, a life that makes sense to everyone else.
A while back, my friend Johnny Ward gave a talk where he shared one of his harder-earned travel lessons: ego is not your enemy. That stuck with me. We’re constantly told to suppress ego, not to chase things for ourselves, not to do things that might look indulgent or unnecessary from the outside. But if your “ego” is pushing you to explore, to challenge yourself, to see the world…why is that something to feel guilty about?
Travel has a way of exposing this. You don’t end up in unusual places or build unconventional experiences by following a script. At some point, you have to be comfortable doing something that might look “wrong” to someone else. And more often than not, those are exactly the choices that end up defining your life in the best way.
More often than not, those are the choices that end up mattering most.
When you step back, all three of these words are doing something similar.
“Try” softens commitment.
“Can’t” shuts things down early.
“Wrong” adds doubt where it doesn’t belong.
Individually, they don’t seem like much. But over time, they shape what you’re willing to pursue, and what you quietly decide not to.
The Bottom Line
Be careful how you frame things before you even begin. Decide when it matters. Question “can’t” when it shows up. And don’t let someone else’s definition of “right” limit what you’re willing to experience.
Over to You
What’s something you’ve been telling yourself you’ll “try” to do…that you know you either need to commit to—or let go of?
