Travel Rule #1: Go Exactly Where People Tell You Not To
Forget stereotypes and scary headlines...the most rewarding trips are often to the places everyone warns you about.
Most people, when setting off on their first international trip, pick Paris. Or Rome. Or London. Something iconic. But my first trip outside North America? The U.S.S.R. Yes, I’m that old, and no, it wasn’t exactly the obvious choice. But, it was for me, and in hindsight, it set the tone for how I’ve approached travel ever since.
Mad props to my parents, by the way. They didn’t just tolerate my weirdness, they encouraged and supported it. They not only let me go to the place everyone thought was crazy, they understood how important it was to me and encouraged it. And I came back with a view of the world I never would have had otherwise.
That’s the thing about going to places you don’t necessarily want to go, or worse, the places you’re told you shouldn’t go. If you only stick to the “safe” list, you’re left with someone else’s version of the world: the headlines, the stereotypes, the half-told stories. But if you go for yourself, you discover something much deeper.
In Kabul, for example, decades of war haven’t erased the fact that life goes on. Near the old palace, I watched kids flying kites in the late afternoon light, laughter rising above a city that most of the world only associates with conflict. It was a reminder that behind the news headlines are ordinary people living extraordinary resilience every single day.
In Palmyra, Syria, I recently stood in a Roman theater where anywhere else there would have been thousands of tourists. Instead, it was just me and my guide. And while the ruins were amazing, what struck me most was what people were missing by staying away. Not just the history, but the human connections that happen in these overlooked corners of the world. Like the trinket vendor who insisted I have coffee with him (and yes, there was low key pressure to buy something) but who was just as interested in telling me about his family as he was in trying to get a sale. Good luck finding that in Rome….
Tripoli, Libya was another of those places people told me not to go. Yet some of the kindest, most welcoming people I’ve ever met invited me into their shops for tea, peppered me with questions about my life and what it’s like in my country, and shared their own. It turns out curiosity flows both ways. The so-called “scary places” are often the ones where hospitality runs deepest.
And then there’s Moscow. For me, it was the country that shattered the simplistic media/government narrative of “us vs. the commies” that I grew up with as we hid under our desks doing nuclear drills as kids. Walking across Red Square, I realized what was obvious the whole time: it’s not ideologies that define a country, it’s the millions of ordinary people just trying to live their lives. Parents chasing kids, couples on dates, workers heading home. People who, at the core, want the same things you do: happiness and a better life for them and their loved ones.
And yes, I’ve used this picture more than once, but it still makes the point I’m trying to get across better than any words ever could. A wedding in Lagos, Nigeria. If you believe the clichés, Africa is (cringe) the “dark continent” and “scary” and “dangerous.” But what I’ve found over and over and over again was industrious people, amazing generosity, and endless joy. That day (and well into the night) was one of the most amazing celebrations I’ve ever been part of and proof that stereotypes collapse the minute you experience a place for yourself.
That’s why I believe so strongly in going to the places we’re told not to. Because the world isn’t black and white. It’s a billion shades of grey. And in every shade, there are endless stories: people doing their best to love, to laugh, to raise their kids, and to care for their communities.
If you only travel where everyone else goes, you’ll only ever get the secondhand version of the world. But when you step into the places you “shouldn’t,” you realize how much of the story you’ve been missing. This is also the reason I don’t believe in “boycotts” but that’s a subject for another post….
✨ Your turn: Have you ever traveled somewhere everyone told you not to? Did you find what “they” warned you aboutt? Or something completely different?