Who Gets to Decide What Counts?
When you can't see everything, how do you decide what's enough?
In a few days, I’ll be heading “home.”
Or at least to the place where my laundry machine lives.
That’s become my working definition these days. It’s where my own pillows are. My prescription refills. Many of my friends. Doctors who know my medical history. Clothes that haven’t been stuffed into a carry-on for two months. Home isn’t really a place anymore. It’s wherever my life pauses long enough to reset before the next trip.
But before I board that flight, I have one last decision to make, and I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about it.
One option gets me home earlier, costs a couple hundred dollars less, and has much more civilized flight times. It also gives me a day in Costa Rica, a country I’ve already visited extensively. The other option is objectively worse. More expensive. Worse connections. Less sleep.
The reward? One new Colombian region.
Here’s the ridiculous part: there isn’t even anything in that region that I’ve always dreamed of seeing. No attraction I’ve been saving for years. No hidden gem that everyone’s been telling me about It’s just...
...new.
Apparently that’s enough to send my brain into overdrive.
The funny thing is, I’ve already done Costa Rica properly.
My first trip lasted almost an entire week. I visited every province. I never left thinking, I wish I’d had more time. Honestly, it was one of those rare trips I feel like I wasn’t checking boxes at all…I really saw a lot. Going back wouldn’t be filling in unfinished business. It would simply be revisiting a country I genuinely enjoyed. (…and yes, I’m unofficially working on visiting every country a second time and this would be #108…so there’s that.)
So why is my brain still fixated on the region in Colombia? Because it’s new.
I mentioned this dilemma to a few friends I’ve traveled with before. They listened patiently and asked really good questions. But then one of them hit the nail on the head:
“If you fly through Costa Rica, would you have to come back a third time because you missed something? Do you have regions left to visit there?”
“No,” I answered. “I’ve already done all the regions.”
“So...what’s the problem?”
It was such an obvious question that it completely stopped me in my tracks. I wasn’t really deciding between two flights….
…I was trying to decide what counts.
Travelers have very strong opinions about what counts.
Spend one day somewhere and someone will tell you that’s not enough. Spend two weeks somewhere and someone else will insist you still “missed the real place.” Visit every region in a country and you’ll be accused of checking boxes. Skip a famous attraction because it doesn’t interest you and someone will wonder why you bothered going at all.
We’ve all heard these conversations. Some of us have probably participated in them.
The irony is that every traveler is constantly making compromises.
Some people have more money than time. Others have all the time in the world but need to stretch every dollar. Some travel for food. Others for wildlife. Some want to hike every mountain they can find. Others are perfectly happy sitting in cafés talking to locals.
None of those approaches is more “correct” than another. Yet travel has an odd habit of attracting people who are convinced they’ve discovered the One True Way.
The backpacker who insists hostels are the only authentic experience.
The luxury traveler who can’t imagine taking a bus.
The foodie who thinks you haven’t experienced a country unless you’ve eaten at that restaurant.
The anti-list traveler who spends an astonishing amount of energy criticizing people with lists. Honestly…it can be super exhausting.
Years ago I asked a good friend whether they ever felt the desire to travel more.
Their answer has stayed with me ever since. “Nah,” they said. “My life is good enough.”
I knew exactly what they meant, but I remember physically recoiling from those words. Not because I think everyone should travel like I do. Quite the opposite. Some people genuinely have no interest in seeing the world, and that’s perfectly fine.
What bothered me was the phrase itself.
Good enough.
It sounded like curiosity had quietly packed its bags and gone home. And yet here I am, asking myself whether a two-hour visit to a Colombian region would be...
...good enough.
Funny how perspective has a way of humbling us.
The truth is, none of us gets everything. Not in one city. Not in one country.
Not in one lifetime.
Every trip involves trade-offs. Every itinerary leaves something on the table. Every traveler decides what’s important to them, whether they realize they’re making that decision or not.
The only real question is whether you’re making your choices or someone else’s.
That’s why I think we’ve become far too comfortable telling other people how they should travel.
“You need at least a week.”
“You have to go in the dry season.”
“You can’t miss...”
“That’s not real travel.”
Maybe.
Or maybe those are simply your priorities.
One of the best things about getting older is becoming comfortable with the idea that my travel doesn’t need to impress anyone else. I don’t need strangers on the internet validating how long I stayed, how I got there, or whether I checked the “right” boxes.
What matters is whether, years from now, I’m happy with the choice I made.
That’s why I value friends who know how I travel. The ones who understand that I genuinely enjoy collecting regions. The ones who know I’m perfectly happy taking a three-hour bus ride to see something obscure if it scratches an itch that’s important to me. The ones who also know when I’ll enjoy slowing down and spending another day somewhere I’ve already been.
Good travel advice isn’t universal.
It’s personal.
So...
Will I visit that extra Colombian region?
As I write this, I honestly haven’t decided…but I need to do so tonight.
But I think I’ve finally figured out the right question.
Not...
“Does it count?”
Not...
“Will other travelers approve?”
Not even...
“Is it enough?”
Instead, I’m asking something much simpler: “What choice will make me happiest a year from now?”
Because that’s really all any of us are doing when we travel.
Making the best decisions we can with the time, money, curiosity, and priorities we have. The rest?
That’s just someone else’s definition of enough.